Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Postby Class316 on Wed Jan 25, 2006 7:02 pm

THE QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross the road?


GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the
damn road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no
middle ground here. We can hear the cluck and peck of every chicken.

Condoleeza Rice: My husband......err that chicken Did Not try to cross the road. I'm warning chickens everywhere not to cross certain roads.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it!

HILLARY CLINTON: I'm with John. No, now I agree with George. But yes, it takes a village to raise chickens of all kinds to cross the road together.

ABE FOXMAN: Only kosher chickens may cross the road. We must silence all other chickens wanting to cross the road.

ARIEL SHARON: Any kosher chickens crossing the road will be put in new settlements. No other chickens allowed.

MAUREEN DOWD: We must sex each every chicken before crossing the road. We Hens have no further need of Roosters.

RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had
been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not
reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it
was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but
I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and
I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group
to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe
this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens
crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax
dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from
you to build a road for chickens to cross.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: The chicken crossed the road for Oxycontin! Put that chicken away forever but not use tax dollars. No sympathy for a chicken needing to cross the road for Oxy's, life in a cage! Oooops!

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken
was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my
eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave
me any insider information.

GLORIA ALRED: Don't look at my beak! No Palestinian chickens can cross the road. Hens and chicks can do fine without Roosters. My business cards are on the other side of the road, I defend Hooker-Hens, Transgendered-Hens also Gay-Hens. My motto is "Who knows what the nose knows? Speak beak"!

OPRAH WINFREY: Chickens all over the world are watching this Black Chicken take it's first step ever, to across the road. YOU GO HEN!
I remember when I was a black chick born down in Mississippi.....abused...taking my first steps.....across the road...

CYNTHIA KERSEY: In just one step you famous Hens may cross the road to success.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not
been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die..... in the rain ... Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR., I envision a world where all chickens will
be free to cross roads without having their motives called into
question. I have a dream today, chickens of all colors crossing that road the slaves built with blood, sweat and tears together. Bless all the little noodles.... I mean chickens.... crossing the roads.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will
be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting,
and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine allllll the chickens in the world crossing roads
together -- in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX: It was a historic inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just witnessed eChicken2004, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook .. and Internet Explorer is an integral part
of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. Besides, it depends on what your definition of chicken is.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
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Postby Silverhaze on Thu Jan 26, 2006 10:39 am

I think you have to be American to get a lot of those but some of em were pretty funny! :D
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Postby adidas on Fri Jan 27, 2006 3:08 am

RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but
I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and
I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group
to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe
this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens
crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax
dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from
you to build a road for chickens to cross.


I loved that one; I can imagine him saying that :lol:
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Postby Zep on Tue Jan 31, 2006 1:33 pm

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the
damn road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no
middle ground here. We can hear the cluck and peck of every chicken.


:lol: :lol:
God gave me everything I want!

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