Evening Classes

[Silverhaze]

You've probably read this before but I like it all the same.

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN

ALL ARE WELCOME

OPEN TO MEN ONLY

 

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

 

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS

Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?

Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR

Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK

OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?

Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY

Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS

Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while shouting

"It's not there!", You’ve moved it!" or "We’ve run out!" – Open forum

 

 

DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?

Group discussion and role-play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH

PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST

Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?

Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER

Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION

Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE

Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME

Individual counsellors available



NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR WOMEN!!!

ALL ARE WELCOME - A MAP HAS BEEN INCLUDED, PRE-PRINTED UPSIDE DOWN FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE

*OPEN TO WOMEN ONLY*

NOTE: OWING TO POOR TOILET FACILITIES IN OUR PREVIOUS VENUE WE HAVE MOVED, ALL THE GIRLS WILL BE PLEASED TO HEAR THE NEW VENUE HAS TWO CUBICLES TO ENABLE PAIRED LOO TRIPS.

*SPECIAL OFFER!!!!!!*

Sign up early and get rubbish pair of flip-flops or a beach-bag made in a Vietnamese sweatshop.

The course covers two days, and topics in this course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO SUFFER IN SILENCE
Step by step guide to dealing with PMT and not inflicting it on others, with PowerPoint presentation (Don't worry Andrew has agreed to set up PowerPoint for us.)

TOILET SEAT - ITS PLACE IN A MODERN HOUSE HOLD?
In-depth lecture into men's indifference.

DIETING
EXERCISE - The real reason your diets don't work. Vanessa Feltz as guest speaker.

READING THE MANUAL
How to get full usage out of you mobile phone, TV, DVD player - with extracts from Dr Peter's book: "Crying Won't Help"

EQUALITY
The difference between being an equal women and trying to be a man - Open forum



DAY TWO

WHY HE ONLY WANTS ONE THING
How to show you have other traits worth considering - Abstract Discussion group.

ROMANCE - A PRIVILEGE NOT A RIGHT.
A lecture - followed by ten tips on how to earn flowers and chocolates.

ORAL - TASTE IS NOT EXCUSE.
The relative amounts of liquid swallowed by each partner vs. actual time taken, displayed in an easy to understand graph format. Followed by a team building exercise and a guide to constructing your own BFCI( Body Fluid Consumption Index).

PARALLEL & REVERSE PARKING - THE INSURANCE PERSPECTIVE
Driving simulation (Please bare with us on this one, if you don't crash the computer will)

WAIT TILL THE END
A guide to waiting for adverts or the programmes' end before asking questions. This will include a practical demonstration with Match of the Day and The Godfather.

LOSING GRACEFULLY
How to accept defeat - winner's shouldn't have to suffer - A lecture.

UNDERSTANDING X - Man's 6th sense
How your current boyfriend knows exactly why your Ex boyfriend contacted you after 8 months of silence!

[Zep]

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?

Driving simulation


Heh, I still did that today even after JUST FAILING my driving test

[Silverhaze]

Aww unlucky dude!!

Was that the first time you took it?

[Zep]

12 lessons, first test and 3 errors.

DOH

[Silverhaze]

Oh well thats not so bad. I had 22 one hour lessons and passed first time with quite a few minor mistakes. Mainly not using my mirrors enough which I still dont do to this day.
If you're behind me, you're not my problem

Of course though, Im an old bastard and passed my test before they introduced that poxy theory nonsense.