Letter of Resignation

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Letter of Resignation

Postby release on Thu Feb 26, 2004 10:08 pm

Dear Mr. Baker,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few
very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an

intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent
and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of our
duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of
our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of
everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a
waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know
how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide
amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to
understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as
binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why
people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am
sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny
new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in
others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have
worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility,
you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your
glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green
algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof
of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without
you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my
resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to
give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not
to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of
years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your
own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every
password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am

going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you
made me "back up" your useless files. I dobelieve that terms like "Lolita" are
not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's
birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of
yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-
moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a
sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe
laces pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use
a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk
by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little
twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your
systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free
time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day,

Cecelia
Cheers,

Release.
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Postby Silverhaze on Fri Feb 27, 2004 7:23 pm

Hahaha yeah had that one a good while back. Old but gold as I always say.

Thats a top one that!!
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Postby Cypher_Blade on Fri Feb 27, 2004 7:50 pm

That one owns hardcore.
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