E-mail golden oldie!

Post Jokes and Topics of Amusement here

E-mail golden oldie!

Postby Silverhaze on Fri Sep 26, 2003 10:43 am

New drive through ATMs



HSBC Bank is installing new "Drive-though" ATM machines.

Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their
vehicles.

To enable users to use this new facility the following procedures have

been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to your own

circumstances (i.e., MALE or FEMALE) and remember them for
when you use

the machine for the first time.

MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Wind down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt

6. Wind up window

7. Drive off

FEMALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to cash machine

2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine

3. Re-start the stalled engine

4. Wind down the window

5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to
locate card.

6. Turn the radio down

7. Attempt to insert card into machine

8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its
excessive distance from the car.

9. Insert card

10. Re-insert card the right way up

11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside

back page

12. Enter PIN.

13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

14. Enter amount of cash required

15. Check make up in rear view mirror

16. Retrieve cash and receipt

17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside

18. Place receipt in back of cheque book

19. Re-check make-up again drive forwards 2 metres

21. Reverse back to cash machine

22. Retrieve card

23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card
into the slot provided

24. Give appropriate one-finger signal to male drivers queuing behind

25. Restart stalled engine and pull off

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles

27. Release handbrake
Image
For the people who are still alive.
User avatar
Silverhaze
Master Of The Universe
 
Posts: 5195
Joined: Tue May 15, 2001 6:01 am
Location: #obfuscation on efnet (occasionally)

Postby were on Fri Sep 26, 2003 11:17 am

between 4-7

#-put on makeup

:lol:
Zep wrote:yes, i am drunk, but did I loot? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
User avatar
were
PCB Emperor
PCB Emperor
 
Posts: 2500
Joined: Wed May 16, 2001 6:01 am
Location: atlantic canada


Return to Humour

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests

cron