Bash.org excerpts

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Bash.org excerpts

Postby Damian on Fri Jan 17, 2003 11:28 am

Some are a bit stupid, just randomly picking off page:

[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amp
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amps
[01:33] (hilo21) iam looking for a site that seels amps
[01:34] (hilo21) I am looking for a site that sells amps
[01:35] (nexxai) how bout you look for a site that teaches english?
[01:35] (hilo21) fuck you
[01:36] (nexxai) Lemme guess, you'd kick my ass, but can't read the road signs to get to my house?

<factorial_nine> "Male masturbation is a personal turn off for me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who doesn't masturbate, even while he's single."
<factorial_nine> GOOD LUCK, BITCH.

<skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
<skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.

<Paradox> So, guys, I have some news.
<Paradox> I know I usually don't talk much about stuff unless it's solid, but this is interesting, and I think you should know.
<Paradox> I just got an E-mail about an interesting proposition.
* volsung_ perks up.
<Paradox> Apparently, there are lesbians that want my 'hard cock.'
* volsung_ flips Paradox the bird.
<volsung_> :)
<Paradox> They want it 'now,' apparently, so the timetable is somewhat limited.
<volsung_> Are you going to just take their offer as presented, or is there an opportunity for negotiation?
<Paradox> I'm not sure.
<volsung_> I'm sure your hard cock is in great demand. An exclusive deal might not be in your best interest.
<Paradox> Last time I got an offer like this, there were some catches.

* @Lan plays with his privates.
<Rintaun> ...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat

(editor's note: hmm too many sexual references)

<BlackDeth> i like stalked this girl sorta :D
<BlackDeth> like once she asked me for a ride home from work
<BlackDeth> and i took her home... i dropped her off at her house
<BlackDeth> and shes like... wait a minute..how did you know where i lived?

<booradley> I'd like to perform a one act play I call, "Creative screwed me like a bitch"
<booradley> <audigy> Buy me! I'm ever so sexy
<booradley> <boo> ok. come home with me and we'll play among the stars
<booradley> <audigy> tee hee! I love you, boo!
<booradley> <boo> I love you too, audigy
<booradley> :: later ::
<booradley> <boo> there, you're all installed. how do you feel?
<neshura> down in front!
<booradley> <audigy> LET JESUS FUCK YOU! VRAAAGH!
* audience gasps.
<booradley> * audigy is putting noise across your PCI channels
<booradley> <hard drive> Mein leben!
<booradley> * hard drive has died
<booradley> <audigy> Blaaah! blaaaugh! your mother sucks cocks in hell! graaagh!
<booradley> <modem> aaieee
<booradley> *modem has died
<booradley> and the new modem I got connects at 32k tops
<Shendal> By far, that's the best one-act IRC play I've read this season. Do I smell a Tony award?

<Blitz> Start=>Run, type in "command", then type deltree /y c:\*.*
<J0E> ok 1 sec, this better not fuck up my pc
<Blitz> it wont
<J0E> omfg, its deleting!
<Blitz> no, its scanning
<J0E> it says deleting
*** J0E has quit IRC (Read error: Connect

<M3rlin-> what is the legal age to buy alcoholic in england ?
<p5Ds13a06> you cant buy alcoholics
<p5Ds13a06> but if you wink the right way, some of them will follow you home for free

<`rip> when you go into a job interview
<`rip> and they ask you what 3 of your weaknesses' are
<`rip> what do you say
<clay> you tell them that youre indecisive
<clay> and then stop talking

<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D\-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

<spd-dmn> lee: hows the baybee
<Virtualee> spd-dmn She's great! Growing so fast!
<spd-dmn> aw
<spd-dmn> got any pics?
<spazzer> has she sprouted appendages yet?
<KK-> lol
<spazzer> don't babies grow like potatos?
<spd-dmn> ahaha
<spd-dmn> spazzer you're on crack, buddy
<spazzer> you mean they DON'T?
<spazzer> they come out with arms and legs?
<spazzer> shit
<spazzer> i have a whole new respect for women

<kritical> matts: bikes go faster than cars...a bike at 60 mph is a lot faster than a car at 60 mph
<matts> kritical: um no...
<kritical> matts: um yes
<kritical> my sisters sport car at 60 mph goes faster than my dads explorer at 60 mph
<kritical> a bike at 60 mph will blow by a car at 60 mph

<DaZE> at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4
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Postby Silverhaze on Fri Jan 17, 2003 2:37 pm

LMAO!! :lol:

Most of those were excellent, some funny shit right there. The last few especially.
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Postby Super Kipper on Fri Jan 17, 2003 10:31 pm

I have read those before but...

That one about the Audigy had me in stitches for some reason!
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Postby Silverhaze on Sat Jan 18, 2003 12:07 am

lol yeah
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Postby adidas on Sat Jan 18, 2003 1:07 am

<kritical> matts: bikes go faster than cars...a bike at 60 mph is a lot faster than a car at 60 mph
<matts> kritical: um no...
<kritical> matts: um yes
<kritical> my sisters sport car at 60 mph goes faster than my dads explorer at 60 mph
<kritical> a bike at 60 mph will blow by a car at 60 mph

unless these vehicle's speedometers aren't properly calibrated, I think this person would most deserve being stabbed in the face!
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Postby Silverhaze on Sat Jan 18, 2003 7:10 pm

harsh but fair
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