One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with the demon.
The demon asked,
"Why so glum?
>The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
>"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"
>"Sure," the man said, "I love to drink."
>"Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink.
Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink til we throw up & then we drink some more!"
>The guy is astounded. "Wow, that sounds great."
>"You a smoker?" the demon asked.
>"You better believe it!"
>"You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world & smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie. You're already dead, remember?"
>"Wow, the guy said, "that's awesome!"
>The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble."
>"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do."
>On Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow.
>"You into drugs?"
>The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . . ."
>"That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine.
You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares?"
>Wow, the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"
>The demon said, "You gay?"
>"No."
> Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays."
