Ok so one isnt so good but I do like the second one.
Sorry for the format, I just pasted them from an e-mail
The Iraqi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and
walks out into the lobby where he meets President Bush.
They shake hands and as they walk the Iraqi says, "You know, I have
just one question about what I have seen in America."
President Bush says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help
you, I will do."
The Iraqi says "My son watches this show 'StarTrek' and in it
there are Russians, and Blacks, and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is
upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star
Trek."
President Bush laughs and leans toward the Iraqi, and whispers back,
"It's because it takes place in the future...."
And number 2
A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall. The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side. She turns to him... they kiss... and
then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love. After an
intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there
together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well,
how was it?"
The guy says:
(scroll down it's a beauty)
"Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."